Paradise for Families

Peace, tranquility, a vacation like none other Рclich̩ by no means! Let me explain.

We were looking for a family vacation & what we found was something above & beyond in Runaway Bay, Jamaica.

It wasn’t the cozy sleep on the flight or the magnificent sunsets or the spa on the stone jetty in the     <Caribbean Sea. It wasn’t the climb to the awesome 100′ slide or the fire-breathing master.

The FDR resort is an all-inclusive, 78-suite, ultimate family experience consistently rated among the best in the Caribbean. It is Jamaican-owned, Jamaican-operated with Jamaican restaurants so you get the true flavors of this beautiful, tropical island and its people. 

It’s not an oversized resort with a Starbucks, Burger King or Payless Shoes. I didn’t leave the States to find a mini-USA. 

What took the experience at the FDR resort to the level of “phenomenal” was an intrinsic feeling of being transported back to the days of summer holiday camps like Kellerman’s in Dirty Dancing. Everyone knew everyone at the resort, and if you didn’t, you were welcomed with warm smiles and a handshake.

I was stunned to find that families have been going there for 25 years. Folks e-mail each other dates of when they’re returning. Families plan around other families they don’t otherwise see but once a year. We’ve been e-mailed by guests – now friends – about the next holiday. Unless I’m visiting friends, I never go back to the same places on Earth so I can explore new territory. So I was intrigued when the 1st family I met said they had been coming for the past 10 years. “Why??” “You’ll see,” smiled the father. By week’s end, I was looking forward to re-visiting this very special & unique place.

The owner, Franklyn D. Rance, for whom the FDR resort is named, says he has welcomed repeat international families for 25 years, he has watched couples come when young Moms were pregnant, and then watched their children grow up year after year, and then watched those children marry and come back annually with their own kids. I’d never heard of such a thing; it was fascinating to me.

I felt like I was back in the 60s or 70s ~ where parents of other children cared for, bandaged up, and guided with love the children in their midst. If you’re 40 and over, you’ll know that comforting feeling – a mix of common sense, “old school neighborhood,” and family amongst friends. And all the staff members knew everyone’s name, had fun with the parents, and the lifeguard swam with the kids.

     

Frank was one of the original 3 partners to found “all-inclusives” 30 years ago. He and his partners built resorts throughout the Caribbean and, now retired, he enjoys his days at the FDR sitting under a palm tree with his advisors. He envisaged a relaxation haven for parents when he created the Personal Vacation Nanny service.

Each family is matched with a specially-trained, private nanny to follow, entertain, swim with, play with, keep safe and care for every need of your child or children so parents can completely relax – body & mind. Your personal nanny takes care of your suite as well, bedding, towels and even brings up platters of evening treats you request. 

I wasn’t into it at first. I watch my kids. I play with my kids. This is family time.

Well…guess what…there’s plenty of family time and one can always play and swim with the kids, Nanny is there to assist from 9-4. She will run back to the room if you forget your sunscreen or hat, she’ll get a drink for you at the bar and, once I was completely comfortable and knew how happy my little one was with all her new friends and their nannies, I could actually take a romantic morning walk on the beach with my husband… or a little afternoon siesta…imagine that…on a family vacation!

We loved our nanny so much that we asked she bring her child to work so we could spend time with her 2 year old.  We gave her a little dollie and hope she remembers us till we return. We love FDR. It’s not a mega-huge resort. It’s kid-friendly and families are welcomed back year after year with handmade signs on their door.

Another delightful and unusual thing about this trip was that each night dinner was served in a different restaurant, or on the beach or on one of the piers throughout the resort. Location & time were listed on the chalkboard by the pool. We didn’t get that at first and went downstairs when we felt like it for dinner. Everyone was finished and going to the dance floor area for entertainment. Whoa, what happened? Families came up and said, “Hi, we missed you at dinner.”

You did??

The next night we came down between the 6:30-9:00 time for cocktails on the pier and dinner. Everyone was there.

Children ran around & played and parents talked about their great day. Amazing! It was so delightful. So friendly. So engaging. So comforting. So not the era we’re all living in now where everyone’s consumed by their handhelds, Facebooking, texting, tweeting, blah, blah, blah. Here everyone was unplugged and relaxed – Eating together. Dancing together. Singing together. And, in Phillip’s case, entertaining us with some funky stick dance on his butt~! LOL! 

The trip was simply wonderful, rejuvenating & exciting. We enjoyed the resort’s glass-bottom boat, spa, our private wedding anniversary dinner with our 7 year old on the pier, the children’s talent show, the daily activities, the Rum treasure hunt at the bottom of the pool, board games, water trampoline, swimming with the dolphins & stingrays, snorkeling, diving and all the exciting adventures the Caribbean has to offer. 

 

 

 

The Bright SpotTM – It was hard to leave Jamaica but e-mails from other families we met there have been flying in: “When are you going again?” I can tell you it will be very soon. A real pleasure and, indeed, the ultimate family experience!

 

Little Notes~~~Lasting Memories

                                                    Daddy left me this note decades ago.

  Phillip left this surprise note for our little one yesterday before he headed away for a business trip.

Small gestures, time well spent together, little notes…they all go a long way.

   

                                      These notes mean something when we find them.                                               They mean a whole lot more when we lose those we love so dearly.

 Daddy, I miss you!!!!   

                                  I see so much of my father’s tenderness & care in my husband.                            I don’t take any of these moments for granted.

                    

The Bright SpotTM  – Write your kids a little note today. It may be something they cherish for the next 40 years.

Kite Flying & Laughter

Indeed, the cards, poems, drawings, gifts, flowers, those are all very appreciated, loved & cherished on Mother’s Day.

 

 

 

But the best part of the day was not the wonderful breakfast with smoked salmon or our afternoon in New York City, it was watching my children’s silliness & laughter wrapped in hugs & snuggles topped by kite flying with my kids in the early evening.

Running, playing, enjoying a gorgeous Spring day with the family. 

   

   The Bright SpotTM  – Be present with your kids, they are your future memories, they are what makes Mother’s Day possible, they are the gift. Happy Mother’s Day, Moms~!!  🙂

Live & Let Love

I was finishing up a really great day trip with my daughter & one of her closest friends. The girls met more than 6 years ago in a baby lapsit music program. The little friend’s grandmother was with us on this particular day and my husband called to see when we would be home.              

“It shouldn’t be more than an hour now,” I said and we each finished with “I love you very much, too.”

The grandmother turned to me when I hung up. “I didn’t mean to listen in but it was really nice to hear you talk like that with your husband.”

To me, it’s just normal. My husband and I are tender & loving in our daily routine. It’s good for us & it’s good for the children. Affection is part of their daily life, and I hope that their partners one day in the far future are just as loving & warm.

I remember advice from some folks when I first married: “Don’t call your husband at work, just let him just do his job.” “Don’t tell your husband you love him all the time, he’ll bore of you.” “And don’t be overly mushy, guys don’t like it.”

But I grew up in a loving home with smoochy parents & grandparents and I went with my gut. To me, men are just as deep as women are and most people, I believe, desire attention, recognition & hugs.

And what I find is that many people wish they had a more loving relationship. Or that they connected more with their spouse.

It’s really not hard. It’s the little things that add up to the wonderful bond between you & your significant other.

A brush past your partner with a soft touch across the shoulders. A little kiss as you pass in the kitchen or while your husband is working late into the evening. I leave him notes in his briefcase, he’s left me notes in the pantry, across my computer screen, in my coat pocket or the bottom of a soup pot!

Arm in arm when you walk, hand holding when you talk, a little text here & a little Google Chat there. It all adds up.  Communication – touch, voice, writing – text or by hand. It all matters.
And nothing beats the kiss! 

 

Don’t think your kids don’t notice. They want that comfort of a loving environment.

Of course, when they’re preteens, a kiss might evoke a look of disgust or even a groan, but in reality, it gives your children quiet inner peace to know their parents are close & loving and, with a divorce rate of nearly half of all marriages nowadays, don’t underestimate the great security it gives them.

So reach out to your partner. Physically & emotionally. And have fun!   

It will not only be super for your relationship, but it will teach your children what a loving family is and what a great partnership looks like.

And the kindness your children experience they will share because they know it as their norm.

   

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – You already know your children model your behavior.

You have the power to mold their framework for a loving marriage and a connected family structure in their future.

 So go on now…smooch the daylights out of your kids and your spouse!  Happy Parenting!™

Which One Are You?

Janet Jackson’s catchy tune “What have you done for me lately?” and John F. Kennedy’s famous quote from his inaugural address, “…ask not what your country can do for you — ask what can you do for your country,” can symbolize your view of a relationship. Where do you fall in your marriage?

For us, we try to do whatever we can to please one another. If I grab a bottle of water for the car or our room for the night, I grab one for Phillip, too. It’s not even a thought, it’s just automatic. And it goes for anything. If he makes a cup of tea, he always makes two. If I can make my husband’s life more comfortable with simple, loving gestures, I do. And vice versa.

Sometimes I’ll warm a towel or his robe in the dryer for him shortly before he steps out of the shower, or I’ll chill a wine glass in the fridge before he comes home from work. These aren’t hard things to do, they don’t take effort, and are so appreciated. My husband sometimes leaves little notes in the big soup pot that say, “I love you,” and I leave naughty notes in his briefcase. 

I learned very early on in our marriage that Phillip was a giver and a pleaser, and it made me want to do things for him in return. And so it went back and forth, back and forth. Now that’s a relationship cycle one would want to keep going!

Years back when I was about 20, there was a significant holiday – I can’t remember which one at this point – but I bought two cards and gave one to my grandmother and one to my grandfather. My grandmother smiled at me tenderly as she gave her card back. She put her arm around me and said, “Your grandfather and I are one; we share everything. We love your thoughtfulness, but we only need one card.” Then she kissed me on the forehead and that was that.

Married 61 years, they were loving and kind to each other every day. They held hands when they walked, when they sat on the couch, whenever they could. The memories are beautifully indelible. Their diamond celebration story: http://theletstalkmom.com/romance-and-spice/the-diamond-celebration/

So as I went into my marriage, I thought to myself I could think, “What have you done for me lately?” …or I could be a thoughtful spouse and say to myself, “What can I do for my husband?”

I know there are some people that might think I’m a wimp. Oh, contraire! When you are great to your significant other and your significant other is great to you, you are united, you are strong, you feel loved, and you are on the 61-year path.

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – When parents are strong together, the whole family benefits and thrives.

 

Date Your Spouse

We do everything together with our kids.

We ski, skate, travel, bike, scout, dance, read, sing, play & pray together.

      

                   

            

And most of all, we just like to hang out with one another.

 

       

Our kids are our #1 priority, our focus, our love. But there is one thing we know is vital to a strong family unit and strong marriage – dating your spouse.

When couples first meet, it’s exciting, romantic & heart-pounding to be together.

And when you choose one another for a lifetime, that romance & thrill should last a lifetime, too. Of course, mortgages, work, time contraints, exhaustion, these all creep up on us. But taking the time to date your spouse will keep your love on fire!

My husband & I date once a week. We plan something fun like evening horsebackriding followed by hors d’oeuvers & dinner…

 

…or smooching at sunset on the beach…

…or just bopping the heck out of each other!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although we like to

 

 
 

sail, snorkel and snog,     

   

 party or chill…

         

…and even work together in our own company – choosing to sit in the same office – much to the shock of our staff and those who visited (“Don’t you two get sick of each other,” they’d chide, “working all day across from one another and then seeing each other at home?”)

Nope, we look at each day as a gift. We celebrate it with our children and with each other.

 

 

 

And sure, gala events are nice (scroll down to see more on this summer event in the next story),

 

but it’s our routine Friday night pizza & a movie at home that’s my all-time, hands-down favorite!!!

 

Just hanging out with my husband, putting our feet up, throwing on a sweatshirt or fleece, a ponytail & little white socks, snuggling under the covers and watching a movie on NetFlix, now that’s a good time!

 

The Bright SpotTM – So go grab your Honey, the one you chose for your lifetime and make memories just hugging & kissing and all the wonderful little things you used to do before the bills and the laundry and the dishes.

 

 

It doesn’t matter what you do – and it doesn’t have to cost a penny - just spend quality time with your One & Only.

 

 

More photos above under “Our Photos – Hand in Hand.”

 

Happy summer lovin’ on the last of these lazy, hazy 2011 summer days.

 

 

My Mom-Shirt Says It All!

Awakened by the sounds of supressed giggles & loud shhhushhing, the aroma of 24 roses and strawberry-cream chocolates, the sizzle of bacon, scrambled eggs & smoked salmon, the juiciness of a delightfully sweet fruit bouquet, and the sparkle of a gorgeous diamond droplet necklace, it was actually my new Mother’s Day t-shirt that said it all:   

Thank you to my dear husband for noticing…you know…how exhausted active Moms are!! Hahahahahaha!!!

 

But really, above and beyond all else, the cuddles & snuggles of my wonderful children, the sumputous kiss from my incredible husband, the birthday hats, the Mother’s Day song, the handmade cards & gifts created with such care, 

& the pure joy of sharing breakfast in bed as a family was the best Mother’s Day gift of all!

A Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there – now go put your feet up!! 🙂

The Bright Spot  – remember as you plow through the fog on a particularly tiring day – exhausted because everything you do is for your family because you love them so much, go ahead and take a moment to grab your kids and snuggle the daylights out of them, because time is short and those are the moments you’ll remember…not the dishes, not the laundry, but the special cuddle, the eskimo kisses, the sweet memories. Then go take a little time for yourself…the laundry will still be there when you get back!

Pixie Dust & Dolphin Kisses

Nothing can take the place of wonder & awe in a small child’s eyes.

Think back to a time when everything you believed in was true & sweet & simply pure magic.

 (3 years old)

Our little one just turned 6 ~ celebrate with us in this photo journey and thank you to everyone who has sent such lovely e-mails ~ I have shared every one with her!

It all started with a trip to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique: choice of gown, hair in a princess bun with shimmering pixie dust, a wand, glass slippers, and a beautiful sparkling wishing star.

Cinderella had just finished dancing with Prince Charming…Sleeping Beauty & Snow White. 

   

The Fairy Godmother greeted Little Petal and her Baby Bambi at the door.

                                 Following her gown presentation in the dressing room…

     

   …it was time to transform into a little princess. Hair, nails, the whole royal treatment for Little Petal and her Baby Bambi – who was also sprinkled with pixie dust and given a matching crystal cheek applique.

Then it was time to meet Cinderella and have lunch with her in her castle!

   

  Cinderella enjoyed meeting Baby Bambi.

Snow White, Belle, Ariel and Sleeping Beauty made our little princess feel extra special, too!

                       

  

After making a big wish on her birthday candle and a wonderful farewell hug from Cinderella,

we enjoyed the Magic Kingdom where dreams really do come true…

…because the next morning, Little Petal awoke to the news that her dream of swimming with dolphins was about to come true!! (For more on her incredible love of sea animals, go to the story “Harmony & Magic,” posted on November 3, 2010)

 We spent a beautiful day at Discovery Cove swimming with sting rays, swimming through an aviary – protected by 2 waterfalls…and Little Petal’s favorite – swimming with a very sweet dolphin named Jenny – what an amazing experience!

The Bright SpotTM  – Creating memories with your family, for in the end, all we have are our memories.

Why I Love You

When my beloved father died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack, my sister’s and my life completely changed. He was the most special Daddy and we adored him.

Thanksgiving was the 1st big holiday without him and the empty dining room chair at the head of the table was a cutting reminder he wasn’t coming back.

One of the million things I learned from my father was to tell people why they are so special.

So when I learned earlier this year a close friend of 40 years was very ill from lung cancer, I not only rushed to her that day to tell her why I loved her so much, but I also wrote her a long letter of each and every little thing that made her special to me.

She loved my children like her own grandchildren and they even called her Nana.

It gutted me when she died, but I had no regrets. She knew how much I loved her.

We’ve just returned from Europe.

We took the children out of school and spent the Thanksgiving holiday in England. Of course, England doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving but it was a time to give thanks and tell a very special and significant woman in my life why she means the world to me.

Yes, it was that time again – Thanks…giving – a reminder to give deep thanks for why the people around me are so special and wonderful because there may not be another time – we had received a phone call that Grandma was in the hospital. So off we went!

We spent every day with her. She loved to have her arms stroked, and her grip was strong and purposeful as she hugged. She listened intently as our 5 year old sang her dozens of songs.

Grandma is blind. She lost her sight 2 years ago. She said to hear her grandchild’s voice in song was simply precious.

Every day her room was filled with grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws. Our visits were happy and loving, joyous and tender.

I spent my time with her telling her all the reasons I loved her. There are so many, it took all the days we were there to tell her.

The point is I learned the lesson my father taught me – tell those special to you how much you love them – you see, I didn’t wait until now to tell this incredible woman how much she means to me, I’ve been telling her throughout the years. But this week, I went over everything again just to reiterate how important she has been in my life, in my marriage and as a parent.

Next year will be 60 years with her husband, a beautiful role model of the most loving marriage.

The Bright Spot  – You have time right now to call that special someone in your life and tell them why you love them so much. Don’t wait. Because life can change in a flash and you don’t want to have any regrets.

 

Encourage and They Will Excel

I don’t push my children. I encourage them.

My husband and I give them opportunities to learn, create and excel and they, in turn, do just that in their own time. Nothing irks me more than ballpark parents screaming at their children from the sidelines.

Our son wanted to become a volunteer member of the firefighter team and Parkour free-runner and our daughter loves ballet, theatre, music and tennis. Those are their choices and we support them and are proud of them.

 Check out that swing at 3-years-old!

Our daughter’s principal just read the Kindergarten parents a children’s book at the Parents’ Orientation called Ruby in Her Own Time by Jonathan Emmett. It’s about a little duckling whose egg hatched later than her siblings’, she swam when she wanted to, quacked when she wanted to, left home when she wanted to and came back on her own time (the college reference, says the principal).

The principal wanted to point out to the parents that some Kindergartners are learning their alphabet while others already read but all the children will eventually read. In their own time.

Some kids walk earlier, some later. The point is – they walk.

I believe in that philosophy. With great love and encouragement, I hug and kiss my kids and tell them how proud I am. Ultimately, in the end, they will find what they love to do and I will be there to help them pursue it.

This leads me to this fantastic video (link below) I saw earlier this evening on YouTube with my husband, Phillip. If more parents looked at who their children are rather than what they want them to be, the world might be a happier, more content place.

This video is so beautiful and so inspirational, I hope you take the few minutes to enjoy it and then share it with your friends. It’s about a “bird-chasing” dog who was trained to do one thing since birth but ended up doing something else.

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=BGODurRfVv4 

The Bright Spot   – if your “dream-chasing” child wants to pursue something, encourage them, help them, give them the opportunities to reach those dreams. And tell those screaming ballpark parents to get a grip; childhood is so short, let your children revel in it. Chase the birds…and your dreams, too!

 

It Was A Bittersweet Day Today

Today was a bittersweet day for me. Our Baby Button ~ Little Petal ~ got on the school bus heading to Kindergarten.

 

 

Of course, she was beaming and waving. But I didn’t know I would burst into tears when I watched the tail end of the bus drive down the road.

Phillip gave me a great big squeeze even though we both knew they were tears of joy and the bittersweet reality that our youngest was growing up.

Dad and I put her on the bus. Superhero Big Brother and I greeted her upon return.

If you’ve ever had to do this, you know exactly what I mean.

The Bright Spot?  Having a network of incredible friends who lift you up in good times, bad times, sorrowful times, joyous times and the transitional times. 

 I’m attaching some lovely e-mails that I received from Moms and Dads today:

Oh, how I remember the first days of many new beginnings for my daughter. They are so precious. Of course, you know she will be fine. How great it will be when she returns from her day to share her stories about new friends and experiences. My little one turned 30 on July 17th, and can I just tell you there is still never a dull moment. I love it! Rosemarie

I just shared this with Cheryl and she was crying…Robert starts 1st grade on Tuesday…
Miss you!  Enjoy the last days of Summer! Robert

B – I remember those days as if they were yesterday. Your tears are tears of joy, you’re raising a bright child who will always make you proud. Victoria started her 3rd year in college, I still take the first school day picture. Enjoy these little pleasures of life! Karen

I know exactly how you felt. When I dropped my kids off at school, they ran inside all excited, leaving me crying at the door. You’ll be fine, my friend. Janet

Mazel Tov!  Your little girl is becoming quite a young lady. I know that these are tears of joy!  I am so happy for her and for you. Smile…these are the happy milestones we can enjoy and treasure. Nancy

Oh B… she was so adorable on the bus (and in the class, I just know it)! Enjoy every minute…. and tears are ok  Shelli

What a wonderful essay for a wonderful life – you & Phillip have given her the strength to excel in her exciting life ahead. Be proud and enjoy the ride. Love, Jim and Linda 

Hey girl….I understand you, it was definitely bittersweet with my daughter, too, because now she needs me even less. In a way, I’ve been caring for her the longest…but now the needs are new and different…hang in there…these were some of my best memories.  ;-)   hugs to you all! c and lz

No tears….the best is yet to come! A new chapter in both your lives. It is going to be amazing, I promise. Love u all, Lilly

For me the hardest thing was when I dropped Katrina, my baby to Kindergarten. I cried so much. It is normal. It is so hard to start losing control and let our kids start getting pushed around from the world!!!! Very hard. Anitta

Ahhhh… Where did the time go!! She seemed very excited for the first day of school. She was ready MOM…. It is always harder for us moms. L

Life is full of precious moments. You just have to know that they can’t pass you by.

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